Friday, September 19, 2008

It's a live BABY!

Went for an u/s yesterday and there was the heart beating away! It made me so happy and what a relief. Life in the IF world makes it hard to let the joy of a new pregnancy seep in...who knows what can happen. But really, who knows??? My husband always talk about "jinxing"; to me there is no jinxing. It is what it is.

Being in the IF clinic yesterday was so weird. I felt all that familiare sadness rushing back to me. I tried not to look at anyone, but saw the oh so familiar look on the women's faces. I can't wait to finally leave this world and move on to the moving on world. I have been stuck for so long. My whole relationship with my husband has changed. I actually feel like our old loving selves.

Monday is my last u/s at the IF clinic and I am done!!! fingers crossed for a healthy happy baby.

Good luck to everyone trying and not trying. Miracles happen. Saying prayers for you!!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Good Numbers, but Not Sure What They Mean!


It's been a whirlwind. Took my 1st beta on Monday and got 1370 and took another yesterday and got 3300. The nurse says that good. To be honest, I am very clueless about what that means exactly.

Feeling okay. The boobs are out of control, can't sleep, and need to pee. I was already busting out of my pants before and it's not long before I need to buy new ones. Yikes.

My husband is so funny. He does not really believe it all. Even after my numbers, he wants more proof.

I am ready to tell everyone, but holding back until 12 weeks. I just want to be sure everything is okay!

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts.


Sunday, September 7, 2008


Hello! Thursday night at 10:30pm was the best night of my life. Fear was lifted and I walked into the bathroom and took the test. As I waited, I washed my face and looked into the mirror...I looked up and said, "it's okay to look." I looked and it said PREGNANT!!!!! I ran around my room, hugged my cat, and cried.

My husband arrived home at 12:30 am. I ran down the stairs with the test and showed him. We hugged and cried and here we are.

Going for the official blood test tomorrow.

Hooray! 100mg of Clomid and some good old-fashioned sex. Thank you God and thank you everyone.


Thursday, September 4, 2008

Frozen with Fear and Hope!

Well, my period has not shown yet. It's unofficially 3 days late. I am beside myself and running to the bathroom every hour. My period is never late. Could the 100mg of Clomid made it late?

I CAN'T bring myself to take a PG test. It's too much on both sides of the fence. Am or am not?

Going to acupuncture this afternoon. Having one stuck in my head to hold the pregnancy in; just in case.

I had a long talk with God at 4am this morning. It's in His hands, but I made a few promises along the way.


Tuesday, August 26, 2008

It's Going to Be a GREAT Fall!

Hello Team,
Back from my IVF consult. Okay, I cried. My husband and I almost fell off our chairs when we found out the cost...drum roll please...$16k including meds. We have no ins. coverage for IF.

The nurse could not have been sweeter!! She went through everything and then asked me what day my last period was. Aug 5. What? Yikes, my symptoms COULD be implantation. She totally got my hopes up. spotting, sore boobs, lower back pain. Hopes Up. My husband finally said we have to stop talking about it; in case we jinx ourselves. Okay, still hopes up. spotting!!!

Anyhow, IVF is planned for November. I am doing ONE MORE Clomid cycle with a Day 12 u/s to see what side I am ovulating on.

Deep breath! Hopes up! Saving my pennies. ;)

Monday, August 25, 2008

2WW...everything is a symptom

I am in the dreaded 2WW and feeling every bit of it. My boobs are super sore and have a few other little potential symptoms. It's either I am pregnant or getting my period super early.
I feel like I am trying to find's like looking for a glimmer of hope.

Tomorrow my husband and I are going for our IVF consulattion...I am nervous and excited.


Tuesday, August 19, 2008

2WW and a missed IUI

I guess it was not meant to be. My husband and I could not get it together to do the IUI, but double dose of clomid and a lot of fun sex...perhaps a baby we made?

2WW...on to the acupuncture, back in the pool, and no caffeine.

My prayer remains the same. Please God, let me get pregnant this month and have a baby. And a whole slew of promises to be a better wife, employee, person......